Des

by Mal Edwards

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Moored my boat at Wrenbury Mill
Went down to the Cotton Arms
The landlord's name was Des his wife was Liz
She was full of charm

Des pulled me a pint of bitter
It was not quite full to the brim
I said "Des are you religious
Or is there a vicar within?"

He said "The reason I haven't filled it,
I think about customers like you
You talk too much, you drink too much
Then you pee it all out in the loo"

I said "Des you old skinflint
Please fill up my pint
I've paid you good money
And the customers always right"

He said "shut up or get out
Or get up on your bike
Or play me a game of dominoes
We'll see if the customer's right"

So we sat down at the table
Des won first drop
Leslie was on the marker board
While Brett watched the shop

I won the first hand
Des won number two
We got to the decider
But we had to go to the loo

When we returned to the table
The stake it was a pound
The dominoes were shuffled
And we started the final round

Des dropped the five four
I'd four one in my hand
Two was all I needed
Wasn't it bloody grand

I rammed the dom down on the table
I've won you owe me a pound
Which he paid up no trouble and said
It's your turn to buy the next round

So if you go to the Cotton Arms
And you order up a pint
Just drink it up and walk away
For the customers never right
Just drink it up and walk away
For the customers never right

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