The Trip to Banbury

by David Blagrove

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Oh, didn't we have an 'orrible time
The trip we went to Banbury.
First when we loaded we buried the dog,
Fifteen tonnes of cobbles on top of him.
When we dug down to get the thing out
He bit our Dad on the backside,
Ripping a lump of his best corduroys
And the air went blue.

Chorus :
Diddle de dee; diddle de dee, diddly diddly dee.

Ma went in the shop beside Suttons Stop
To buy a trip's worth of groceries
Thought she would do us an Indian meal
-Boil in the bag and add some water-
All the next day the family queued,
Taking turns for the Karsi.
Mother got stuck in the engine hole doors
And the air went blue.

Chorus

When we got round the Hillmorton Pound
The butty went up on the inside,
Motor went into the outside lock,
Our Kid found she just wouldn't hold back.
He hit the sill a terrible thump,
Dad was still sat on the Karsi.
He finished up with his head in the bilge
And the air went blue.

Chorus

Father eased off the motor boat's revs,
Passing linear moorings
Though they went on for nearly a mile
And most of the boats were floating rubbish heaps.
All of a sudden the governor jammed
The motor boat went like thunder,
Busting a whole ruck of hippy boats loose
And the air went blue.

Chorus

Getting near Napton, we chucked off the bike,
Our Kid straight way got a puncture.
Mended it quick, then blew the thing up,
Quite forgot to slacken the brakes off.
First time he stopped he went over the bars,
The towpath covered in dog crap.
In he went, going arse over tit,
And the air went blue.

Chorus

We pulled the head off a new cabin shaft,
Trying to rake out a bladeful,
So Father got in in his underpants,
When they got wet they became quite see-through.
When he got out to dry himself off
He frightened a field full of donkeys.
They stampeded and knocked us all down
And the air went blue.

Chorus

Mother got hit on the head with a weight,
Trying to pull up a drawbridge.
Father was steering the butty and so
Stood in the hatches and laughed his socks off.
Mother got peeved and loosed off her grip,
Down came the drawbridge on Father.
Mother got flung in the top of a tree
And the air went blue.

Chorus

When we got down to Banbury town
We couldn't find where to empty
So father went round to a telephone box
Rang up the firm, reversing the charges.
We should have gone to Bunbury instead,
That's a place on the Shropshire Union.
"Bugger!" said Father, "We've come the wrong road!"
And the air went blue.

Chorus
David Blagrove stated that this was 'written in 1990 and not entirely based on imagination. Verse 6 owes a little to the Kipper Family of Trunch, Norfolk.'

Tune: 'The day we went to Bangor'