Wet Weather Gear

by Ian H Bruce (2012)

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When holidaying in Britain the climate demands
Appropriate clothing, 'specially on the canals
So when going boating, one thing is clear
If you want to stay dry you'll need wet weather gear

Chorus
Wet weather gear, wet weather gear
Repeat last line of verse, e.g.
If you want to stay dry you’ll need wet weather gear

If you steer your boat in tee-shirt and shorts
That’s adventurous attire for this mode of transport
Take on board some advice and to it adhere
Don't leave your mooring without wet weather gear

Avoid cool Ray-Ban shades and hot Jimmy Choos
Don't let Gok Wan plan your waterway cruise
Haute couture, c'est un faux pas when low pressure’s here
So discard fashion clothing, don wet weather gear

A colourful umbrella’s an attractive sun shade
But in stormy conditions it won’t make the grade
Wind assisted inversion’s inevitable I fear
Throw away broken brollies, get wet weather gear

Now shower-proof won't do, despite resistance to rain
You'll find water running down a trouser leg drain
So boatmen, wet fishermen and canal (C&RT) volunteers
Splash out on best quality wet weather gear

Water seeps into shoes fast as leaks drain the locks
So some boaters wear plastic bags over socks
But spotted and pink or black and austere
Wellies are vital as wet weather gear

I believe global warming's a load of old tosh
It's rained cats and dogs and the towpath's awash
It's been floods, not heat-waves, in the news all this year
Thanks Noah for inventing wet weather gear

Jacket and trousers, wellies and hat
In fluorescent green or navy-slash-black
For their waterproof qualities we must all raise a cheer
So it's hip, hip, hoo-rain for wet weather gear

Having written a number of canal songs from 2007-11 I seemed to 'dry up' and lacked inspiration for more. Ideas normally come whilst I stand on he back of my narrowboat with little to tax the brain. The 'summer' of 2012 came to my aid by constantly soaking me to the extent that all I could think about was keeping dry. A bit of a tune and some dreadful rhymes later this song arrived.